Hopes and Dreams For The Lost
I don’t have hopes and dreams. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
Currently I’m really struggling with what I want to do. Where do I want to go? It’s also occurred to me that I don’t have hopes or dreams. I honestly can’t say that I know what that means. Is that different than having goals? Do you set goals to achieve your dreams. How do you set goals to reach something you aren’t sure is even there. How did I get here?
I’m pretty sure I know how I got here. Moving past this and finding a real passion or calling seems to be the hard part. There are a few times in my life that I can recall as a child having my dreams denied. “You can’t do that. You can’t make money doing that.” The last almost 20 years of my life having been me trying to prove people wrong. There’s motivation in that. There’s vengeance in that. There’s a lot of long days, dark thoughts, and pain and hurt in that. There are the few self pats on the back and tiny boosts of self confidence in that. But all of that hard work has left me empty most days.
Please don’t mistake what I’m saying. I did a lot of work, I had a lot of help, and I got lucky where others did not. I’m aware of all of these things. A few people took some chances on me. As a professional I wouldn’t be where I am without the drive that came from having to prove people wrong. To show them that I would become something. Along the way, and more recently, I feel that I’ve been able to have some positive impacts on people.
That’s all I want. Maybe that’s really all I want. I long to help people however I can. I want to guide, boost up, and inspire anyone I can to feel like they are growing in a positive direction. Throughout the years I know I’ve hurt a lot of people, possibly some who read this. For that I am truly sorry. Hurt people, hurt people. It’s not an excuse and I’ve wronged you or hurt you I apologize.
Do I have hopes and dreams and I’m just not aware of it? How do you know what your hopes and dreams are. What are the differences? Do you know what your hopes and dreams are? Can I help you achieve them? I’ll listen and do my best to offer advice, solve problems, or just listen. I’m a problem solver so if you want me to just listen please let me know. I’m not the best at just listening most times.
So if I want to help people, and I want to watch them grow and succeed, where do I start? Is this platform helping create the conversations that I hope it’s creating. Is that a hope of mine? Is having a positive impact on as many people as I can a dream of mine?
When someone tells you that your hopes and dreams aren’t attainable please take just enough of that to heart and use it as a drive. Stop and check in with yourself along your path though. You need to make sure you aren’t doing it out of spite. You may wake up and find success at a cost. You may wake up and feel lost. You went down a path that lead you somewhere, but as you look down there’s nothing there left to guide you. It’s at this point that you have the most to gain. Look back and see what got you here. Look forward and realize you can now go anywhere. You now control the path. Pull out a machete and forge your own path. Ask someone for directions, but don’t let them be your guide. They can be a map to show you destinations, but how you get there should be up to you.
I’m at this point. It’s time to get out a map and see what lies around me. This, and an understanding of my hopes and dreams should help me move forward. Let’s share our parallel journeys.
I’m going to do my best to lay out the “hopes and dreams” I think I may have discovered while writing this:
Dream: Help guide others while listening and sharing
Hope: That our words can inspire the conversations that we all need to have
Dream: Become a consultant/guide/leader to help grow individuals and organizations
Hope: That I find what really calls to me, drives me, and continues to allow me to grow
Hope/Dream: That I won’t pass on the negative traits that I’ve learned
Dream: A creative outlet that continues to help me boost my confidence. Something to learn so I never stop learning. A passion that we continue to share together. Til Death.